Mar 2, 2012; San Antonio, TX, USA; Charlotte Bobcats center Boris Diaw (32) shoots against the San Antonio Spurs during the second half at the AT&T Center. The Spurs won 102-72. Mandatory Credit: Soobum Im-US PRESSWIRE
That's the sound of my heart. It's sharp and tinny, like a hand flicking a metal pot. That's how it sounds; the pangs of regret.
I didn't have to watch the game, but your RoF overlords weren't available for the game, so I decided to be a good friend and pinch hit for a night. I wouldn't say it was a mistake. That kind of implies that I didn't know what I was getting myself into. But it was definitely one of the worst decisions I've made in this young 2012 year.
We all knew how this was going to end. The Bobcats, far and away the worst team in the NBA, were playing against the Spurs, owners of the second-best record in the West and one of the three best home teams in the league. What started out as a scrappy affair in the first half became a complete bludgeoning in the second, as the Spurs coasted to a 30-point win, 102-72.
The first scoring possession of the game could've been seen as a bad omen for the Bobcats. DeSagana Diop drilled a straightaway 15-footer, which in any universe should be construed as nothing short of a miracle. Of course, this was terrible news for the Bobcats because miracles don't come around often, and things sure as hell weren't going to get any better. That one Diop jumper from the free throw line wasted all the miracles. There was nothing left for the rest of the game. Poor Diop. Even his positive actions seem to give off negative vibes, as his effort on offense was met with a complete lack of awareness on defense. Oh, the dude is way out of shape. What's new, though?
The Bobcats have serious issues scoring inside, as seemingly their entire roster is most comfortable and content shooting (and missing) from the 15-20 feet out. The team has been woefully inefficient all season long, and their 37.3 percent shooting should come as no surprise. D.J. Augustin had a stinker, shooting 0-4 from 3 and 1-9 overall. It's hard to mount an upset against such a well-oiled offensive machine when three of your top scorers (Gerald Henderson, Corey Maggette, and Augustin) combine for a Kobe Bryant-esque 9-33 from the field.
The Spurs were without Manu Ginobili, and Duncan's touch wasn't quite there (except for the possessions against Diop) but it really made no difference at all. Tony Parker knifed through Bobcats' nonexistent defense, leaving behind a bloody, shredded carcass like something you'd see in a Deadliest Warrior episode. He went 6-8 in the first half, including a masterful 4-4 in the first quarter, all in the paint. Parker finished with a game-high 15 points
Oh, but if only Parker was the only concern. The Spurs went berserk from the 3-point line, shooting 10-20, including 8-12 from Richard Jefferson and Matt Bonner. The emotional dagger twist came in the third quarter when Jefferson went up for a vicious block on Maggette's drive, and followed it up immediately with a pass to an open Gary Neal for a corner 3.
The rest of the game was just an amorphous blob of awful. But you knew that. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
- I was worried that I'd get really depressed watching the game, so I bought myself a tub of Breyer's "Mrs. Fields Mint Fudge Brownie" ice cream. I thought I'd like the brownie bits, and at first I did, but it's hard to have a moist brownie when it's frozen. So while it's chewy, it ends up being a tad dry and chalky. The mint flavor was apparent, but not overpowering. (Pro tip: If you want more mint flavor, brush your teeth with mint toothpaste before eating any kind of mint ice cream.)
- D.J. made his first basket at the 9:09 mark in the first quarter. Unfortunately, it was a shot after a whistle. He wouldn't make another shot (a legal one) until the third quarter with 12 seconds left. Of course it was a difficult fadeaway.
- Pro tip: If you want to score on Diop, just dribble in a circle. He'll get confused and give up, and you'll have either a wide open jumper, or a lane to the hoop. What also works is closing your eyes. He can't see you that way.
- Matt Bonner went 5-7 in the game, and 4-6 from 3 as I mentioned above. His only other field goal came in the second quarter. He was given an opening in the lane, and took it. He dove into the paint, hilariously lost his dribble, but recovered, looked up and saw absolutely no one guarding him, and tossed in an easy hook shot.
- Henderson's first field goal came at the 3:03 mark of the second quarter. That can't happen.
- MATT CARROLL SCORED IN THE POST, YOU GUYS!
- With two minutes left in the game, B.J. Mullens stripped the ball away from T.J. Ford, but immediately loses it out of bounds. That is, how you say, microcosmic. Metonymic. Facepalmic.