A few years ago, Bill Simmons wrote a couple columns in which he and his readers came up with a series of yearbook quotes they wished they could have used. They were great lists, but they were aimed at 30-something men, and kids these days need their own quotes, so I'll put together a list for them.
I definitely hate the quote I chose, some drivel about how "a poet must write". It wasn't fun. It wasn't funny. It wasn't insightful in any way. I aim to make this list a group of fun, funny, and perhaps even insightful potential yearbook quotes for the new generation. Some of these were gathered on a previous blog project of mine, here.
"If y'all see me in the news, and I make the news for something that I ain't got no business making it for, don't bash me. Say it was a young guy living."
-- Clinton Portis
"Your mom goes to college."
"I'm sorry, officer. I didn't know I couldn't do that."
-- Dave Chappelle
"Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!"
-- The Planeteers
"You tell 'em I'm coming! And Hell's coming with me, you hear? Hell's coming with me!"
-- Wyatt Earp
"No, kids. Daddy didn't really look like this."
-- Lee Dolson, a senior when I was a freshman in high school
"I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over..."
-- Phil Conners
"Sometimes, the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves."
-- The Simpsons
"You can pay for school, but you can't buy class."
"One day when you're looking back, you were young, and, man, you were sad. When you're young, you get sad."
-- Ryan Adams
"While your guys are out partying, my guys are running routes."
-- Gary Grobowski
"Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it."
-- Knocked Up
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just ... do things."
What else you got?