Let's Write A Song About Gerald Wallace
by David A. Arnott on Dec 29, 2009 10:58 AM EST
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PrintDo you remember those guys who started playing guitar freshman year of high school because they realized chicks dig rock stars? I was one of those guys, and chicks did, indeed, dig the "rock stars".
I never got good enough to tour the world (or even the California coast), but I do write and record songs at home whenever inspiration strikes. What does this have to do with you?
===
It's time for another contest, although this one is more of a game. All you have to do is be as creative as possible. It'll be an experiment in group production, and will advance the agenda set forth by Gerald Wallace Facts. Here's how it will work:
Write lyrics to a song about Gerald Wallace. Post them in the comments.
I'll pick and choose from the lines posted here, produce and record a song out of them, and then post it on Rufus on Fire.
That's it. Post your lyrics in the comments, whether you've got a whole verse or just a phrase you like. Be sure to vote in the poll for what genre you want the song to be. You've got until January 10th.
And please, be as crazy as you like. Absurdity is good. This can be a real attention-grabber, so the more outlandish, the better. I could probably write a song myself, but, collectively, we can make a better one.
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Has to be clean...
we want a family draw with the ’Cats…
by andrewlail76 on Dec 29, 2009 3:34 PM EST up reply actions
Since nobody else is jumping in
I’m not known for my freestyle rap, but everyone seems to be heading for a Tupac tune. Here goes nuffin’
A hero has arrived in old NC
Got no S on his chest
Just a number 3
He won’t outrun bullets
or jump a tall building
But what he does on the court
Is even more thrilling.
His skills are mad sick
and there ain’t no cure
when he cuts in the lane
All you see is the blur
The word’s gotten out
the man’s nothin’ but trouble
He only needs one quarter
To bank a double-double
He’s the master of illusion, confusion
Stay out the way or get a bruisin’ contusion
You need slo-mo to see all the skills he’s usin’
He’ll go by in a flash on the way to the glass
He’s the Charlotte Smash
He’s the beast we call Crash
Yeah, I know. But at least I tried. Maybe someone can build something out of it.
Don’t blame me. How many famous Native American rappers have YOU met?
I’m kinda like Snoop Deputy Dawg. Just call me:
MC Lardass!
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 29, 2009 6:19 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Gerald Tupac
I can produce this.
Myspace.com/LOrangeProductions
by L'O on Dec 29, 2009 10:21 PM EST via mobile reply actions
I’ll send you an email. If you’re willing to provide a beat, I can add some frills and vocals from my home “studio”. You still using the same web site?
by David A. Arnott on Dec 30, 2009 10:59 AM EST up reply actions
The fact that 17 bobcat fans voted for Lady gaga disappoints me and Im sure Gerald Wallace as well. He is way too badass for anything like that.
G-Force and Gaga...
Both came from obscure beginnings (Wallace as a deep, deep reserve for the Kings), Gaga as Stefani Germanotta.
Both slowly started getting a bigger opportunity after a significant change to their situation (Wallace to the Kings, Gaga to Team Crazy, where they don’t actually use real names.)
Both began in more typical roles based on expectations of what they were (Gerald as a 13-6-2-2-2 starting SF, Gaga with her first big single, the relatively status quo “Just Dance.”)
Both began to expand their repertoires and challenge the limits of what people believed they could do (Wallace, gunning for the NBA rebounding lead at 6-7, Gaga potentially changing the face and direction of pop music with her latest series of singles.)
Finally, both, despite their unconventional approaches and seeming weaknesses—Gaga’s inane lyrics, Wallace’s continually slow-developing midrange/outside game—have gained widespread fame and critical approval in their respective fields.
So while seems clear you’re not a fan of pop music, there are plenty who’d argue Lady Gaga’s laying down her own path of musical badassery; the comparison isn’t all that dissimilar.
Advance apologies if the contents of this sports-based post offended you. I'm just aiming to educate the masses. My law professor says they're asses.
by MichaelProcton on Dec 30, 2009 8:38 AM EST up reply actions
Um...I see your point
I was just thinking more in line with what our area likes/music wise…but then again I voted for a Green Day theme…thinking of their fast paced music…like his best playing style…
by andrewlail76 on Dec 30, 2009 9:02 AM EST up reply actions
I went with GreenDay too
But more because it’s closest to the type of music I usually listen to. And calling Lada Gaga a pop singer serves great injustice to pop music. She’s just the latest in a long string of disco divas and has more to do with RuPaul than real pop. Squeeze played pop music. Jason Mraz plays pop. Gaga plays refried Donna Summer and DLite. Of the options given, Lady Gaga would have been my absolute last choice. Give me any song by Pink and I’ll be happier than if I owned Gaga’s entire present and future discography.
A question of taste I guess. At least we live in a country with enough musical diversity that most of the readership here is familiar with each of the artists David listed.
I could write a book bigger than Brittney Spears’ ego about everything the music industry has done in the past decade to blow itself up and not even scratch the surface. They can cry about declining sales all they want but if you produce nothing but prefabricated cookie-cutter crap you only have yourself to blame if nobody buys into it. Oh, and suing 12 year old kids and grandmothers for piracy was such a BRILLIANT pr move I’m amazed nobody thought of it sooner!
Acts like Radiohead and Fleet Foxes succeed because they make innovative music that never would have made it by staying within the current corporate industry. People are starving for decent music and are willing to look for it. The best stuff nowadays is found either on the web, or in the bars and clubs where groups like Kings of Leon and the Strokes played night after night for years to build reputations.
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 30, 2009 9:37 AM EST up reply actions
As I listed below...
I’m not a “pro-sellout” guy, nor do I dismiss the kind of music you list as too advanced for my musical palate. But if you can’t listen to an album like Justin Timberlake’s Futuresex/Lovesound and enjoy it (if not outright declare it, well, good music) even though it’s unabashedly mainstream pop, I’m sad that you’re missing out on a ton of good music that doesn’t need to pretend to achieve at the level of Handel’s Messiah.
Advance apologies if the contents of this sports-based post offended you. I'm just aiming to educate the masses. My law professor says they're asses.
by MichaelProcton on Dec 30, 2009 12:18 PM EST up reply actions
I didn't say anything about you.
The closest I came is in saying that it was a matter of taste.
I didn’t mention sellouts, or claim your palate was defective.
I dissed Lady Gaga because I’ve seen her in one form or another for 30 years and the music never changes. My personal musical taste runs toward Power Pop (a subgenre that leans heavily on Rockabilly roots.) and standard rock (Sister Hazel, Cowboy Mouth) and I find almost everything getting airplay these days to be homogenized and bland. I also have a soft but passionate spot in my heart for Brian Setzer and absolutely believe that “Weird Al” Yankovic belongs in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Regarding Timberlake, I can enjoy listening to any track or two off of Futuresex/Lovesound but find it a bit redundant to listen to all of it in one sitting. No need to be sad. And despite a liking for many classical composers, I’ve always found Handel to be quite pretentious and overblown. I much prefer chamber music along the lines of Vivaldi.
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 30, 2009 2:55 PM EST up reply actions
you would be the one making a case for lady gagas badassness
She has a nice voice but her music sucks. Looks have nothing to do with music. It seems to me that people are blinded by her assortment of styles and dont actually listen to her music. It is entertainment but not music. There are better female pop singers that actually make good music such as feist, Norah Jones, and fiona apple. Pop is not my fave but I enjoy a little. Mraz has a couple songs that dont hurt my ears. Maroon 5 was ok when they first came out.
Lots of musicians have to make it the hard way and it takes a long time for them to make money. That doesnt mean her music doesnt suck. Also, the name alone, makes me not take her seriously.
Artists/bands badass enough for wallace
beastie boys, CCR, eminem, gnarls barkley, jayz, johnny cash, led zeppelin, my morning jacket, nirvana, biggie, outkast, rage against the machine, chili peppers, dr dre, snoop, sublime, 2pac, green day.
This is an elite list of badasses that are fit for Gerald Wallace. Anything less is unacceptable.
When did I say looks have anything to do with music?
Music industry execs, as well as the general public, have spoken. She’s been met with near unanimous approval and huge music/tour profits. Your female examples, by the way, are not pop artists. Norah Jones is a jazz musician, and Fiona Apple does adult alternative that is far closer to folk than pop. Between the two of them, they’ve charted exactly two top 40 songs, neither of which got higher than Apple’s “Criminal” at #17. In about 18 months as a major-label artist, she’s had six, five of which have reached at least #6.
You admit your bias when you say that “the name alone, makes me not take her seriously.” I have a suggestion for you: get your head out of your Spin and just listen to some “non-badass” music that got produced by a major label and gets played on top 40 radio. It might just make you feel good inside, even if snobby music types haven’t approved it as the great symphonies of our time. I listen to, own music by, and enjoy every one of your “badass” bands you list (and I’ve even seen shows by six of them), but that doesn’t mean I can’t expand my horizons by “slumming” in mainstream pop.
Advance apologies if the contents of this sports-based post offended you. I'm just aiming to educate the masses. My law professor says they're asses.
by MichaelProcton on Dec 30, 2009 12:14 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, and I like Jones and Fiona Apple, too.
Advance apologies if the contents of this sports-based post offended you. I'm just aiming to educate the masses. My law professor says they're asses.
by MichaelProcton on Dec 30, 2009 12:15 PM EST up reply actions
Ok I admit
Im biased against pop music. I hate almost everything that is played on the radio w/ the exception of rock 92, some 106.5, and back in the day oldies 93. I would rather listen to talk radio. You got me there.
The point im trying to make though is Gerald Wallace is too badass/hardcore for pop.
I mean this is Gerald Wallace we are talking about. Not Ron Artest. Artest has gained a reputation as a badass by claiming to be one and getting choked out by Ben Wallace. He would be perfect for a lady gaga song. Gerald Wallace on the other hand is the ultimate badass by example. He is my favorite player of all time and in my opinion a legend, thus fit for only the most badass legends of music.
Then let's go Ozzy
Or Metallica
Or Megadeath…
Or Primus…
Or…
Zeppelin
by andrewlail76 on Dec 30, 2009 7:05 PM EST up reply actions
id be down with some ozzy or metallica.
Never listened to megadeath or Primus but primus is my lil bros fave so Its prob good.
Now here we disagree
It’s been a long time since “real” music has been played regularly on Top 40 radio.
The garbage being pumped out now takes no chances. Toss aside Kelly Clarkson, because she was the real undiscovered deal and spent most of the money she earned from her first ablum paying lawyers to get her away from the sludge 19 Productions was forcing her to sing. She’s a smart lady that sings the hell out of anything put in front of her. What we’re left with is the result of an industry so devoted to self-cannibalization that there are only 5 “majors” left. Pay no attention to the label on the disc because over 90% of the stock on the shelves at the local Walmart is made by a subsidiary of one of the Big 5. Creativity went out the window a long time ago. When something original DOES show up it takes less than 3 months for dozens of duplicates to jam the shelves right behind it. This is why there are more one-hit-wonders now than ever before in music history.
Artistic integrity is not and never has been measured by the number of chart hits. Pink Floyd is one of the most successful acts in history and had a grand total of 2 top 40 hits before melting down after a decades long career. The same can be said for acts like Rush, The Golden Earring, Mott the Hoople, etc. etc. etc.
I do agree with one thing you said though. “Music industry execs, as well as the general public, have spoken.” They sure have. The execs keep churning out the same generic junk and the public keeps turning their backs. The last album to sell a million plus in a single week was No Strings Attached by NSync. Sales are down over 60% over the past 7 years, and the best selling music is made now by long-in-the-tooth artists like Springsteen and U2 or it’s reissued old music by Michael Jackson and the Beatles. The only musical genre that hasn’t seen double-digit sales declines is Country with a mere 8% decline last year. Even the juggernaut genre of Hip Hop/Rap has been derailed with an 11% year-to-year drop. If it weren’t for the sales of American Idol contestants, the entire music industry would have collapsed already. Oh, and before you kick into autopilot refutation mode think about this – the aforementioned NSync album sold more in its first week of release (2.4 million) than the entire top 200 albums COMBINED the week this summer that Lady Gaga was all over the charts as the new “superstar.” You can’t exactly say that NSync wasn’t a pop act.
If you enjoy the music that’s being spoonfed to the public on Top 40 radio these days, more power to you. I guess somebody has to buy it.
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 30, 2009 3:26 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Writing a song is difficult without a beat or a melody
It would be nice if we could get producers to submit some beats. We could vote on the beats as well. The song writing will be easier once the musical backdrop is in place.
"I could never be a thug, they don't dress this well." - Malice
by Julius Coxswain on Dec 30, 2009 10:28 AM EST reply actions
Or soneone could just write a song to the Poker Face instrumental.
"I could never be a thug, they don't dress this well." - Malice
by Julius Coxswain on Dec 30, 2009 10:30 AM EST up reply actions
First verse
this is the first verse that I’ve written so far. A little absurd, but David said that’s cool. I’ve got some more, but the kinks need to be unkinked before i leak it to the public.
Boys and girls, sit yourself down now,
And I’ll start rapping ‘bout the king of Crown Town.
His name is Gerald Wallace and his claim to fame,
Is sittin’ suckas down and crashin’ the lane.
He don’t take no crap, or poop neither,
Only when he’s fouled does he take a breather.
He’s on a tear playin hard as cement.
Playing against him? Sign your will and testament.
While you’re at it, give your consent,
And hopefully we can identify your remnants.
After crash is through destroying you,
All will gather to bid your body adieu.
His only weakness is bad headaches,
And when he pees he don’t need no shakes.
He lays it down for the seven-oh-four,
And afterwards, opponents feel like whores.
Used and abused,
Bruised and confused,
Bodies feel bleary; they need some rest
None for the weary, so Gerald continues his quest
All-star game and playoffs are a must
If not, beware: he may combust.
Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is.
by Ben Swanson on Dec 30, 2009 1:24 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Crashin' Boards Love
Crashin’ Boards Love (sung to the tune of California Love by Tupac ft. Dr. Dre)
Gerald Wallace, knows how to rebound.
In the city of the queen, in the city of Charlotte.
For the Bobcats, the jams are smashing,
Keep on crashing, keep on crashing.
Now let me welcome everybody to the T-W-C-A
A player whose ungaurdable like Michael J
Taking charges daily in the lane to the chest
Once ruptured a lung and came back on short rest.
We’re in the Tarheel state witnessing an impossible feat,
A 6-7 forward just blocked a shot into some empty seats.
A player on a mission for some All-Star votes
Lean, mean rebounding machine, take notes.
He’s been in the game for nine years playing D,
Ever since he was drafted by the Sacramento Kings.
Now it’s 09 and fans love to watch him,
When his game is shining, can’t nobody stop him.
He’s all good from perimeter to the paint,
Dropping bombs from the arc or driving the lane.
Crashing boards like a man possessed on game days,
6-7 forward a rebound leader in the NBA.
Gerald Wallace, knows how to rebound.
In the city of the queen, in the city of Charlotte.
For the Bobcats, the jams are smashing,
Keep on crashing, keep on crashing.
by adamcawa on Dec 30, 2009 2:53 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
I like it
My version of Tupac’s Changes coming soon
Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is.
by Ben Swanson on Dec 31, 2009 12:12 AM EST up reply actions
Got some good stuff showing up!
Thank God! I thought for a while I was going to be the only attempt.
Tupac Changes verse 1
I see no changes, watch a game in the evening, ask myself
All-Star worth watching or should I watch Elf?
I’m tired of being aware, and even worse no one else is
of Gerald Wallace’s NBA voting deficits
Analysts couldn’t care more than ze-ro
LeBron makes a layup, he’s a he-ro
Takes fries from the fans, who the hell cares
one less all-star spot but more fanfare
first anoint them preseason and ignorance rules
voters put on blinders, dense sucker fools
It’s time to retaliate, that’s what I said
Two blocks in the paint, and held high is my head
I got love for G-force, but he can never go nowhere
unless we make a song and throw up a prayer
we gotta start making changes
make a push, ain’t no dangers
to make it how it’s supposed to be
how can t-mac make it and not the force comma G?
I’d love to watch him play in the game
with the NBA all-stars, but first things gotta change.
Verse 2 coming within the next few days
Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is.
by Ben Swanson on Dec 31, 2009 12:54 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
whoops mistake I forgot to fix
line 2 should be:
Will the all stars be worth watching or will I watch Elf?
Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is.
by Ben Swanson on Dec 31, 2009 12:59 AM EST up reply actions
Tupac Changes verse 2 & 3
I see no changes, all I see are oblivious faces
unaware of Crash blocking shots to dark places
thrown asunder, I wonder what it takes to make the list.
One more dunk? Another block with a twist?
He takes smiles off opponents, replaces them with fear
And when he makes an assist he cries one tear
because that ball was his child, his son
and nothing hurts more than abandoning one.
And although he seems heaven sent
he’s a human giving 100 percent.
That’s a secret, whoops, cat’s outta the bag
no matter, Crash ain’t one to brag.
He’s humble, won’t ever change
Cuz he’s not one to get a bad name.
Now you tell me: what’s a fan to do?
First cats all star hopes to debut.
We gotta appeal in a viral way
make a song today in a jammin’ display.
Writin’ rhymes for the Force. I gotta do this,
Cuz I wanna change the way it is.
chorus
And still I see no changes, can’t a brother get respect?
It’s war on the courts, he plays till he’s wrecked
Rather than give up or give in
He’s got crazy perseverance and determination.
And he ain’t never relented when they told him to
Cuz “they” don’t own him and he stays true.
he’s gonna back you up, jack you up,
pack you up, and rack you up
as another fool who’s just been owned
and your manhood was just dethroned
by the man who “can touch this”
No trash talk, his worst game beats your best diss.
That’s the sound of jaws dropping, talk stopping
cuz Gerald won and now he’s pop n’ locking
And as long as he’s healthy,
He’ll stay wealthy, and unfortunately stealthy
cuz he’s got all-star skills and talent,
which should justify voting him into this event
so he can represent the bobcats: ours and his
We need help to change the way it is.
bonus outro
As I finish I gotta let y’all know,
basketball rapping is a company and I’m the CEO,
Alongside the CFO, Mr. Kurtis Blow.
My rapping skills are second none
but today, I’m rapping to get the job done.
My boy Gerald Wallace needs all-star assistance,
His path to Dallas is that of most resistance.
Because voters are ignorant, and foolish to boot,
I had to write a song and somehow avoid a lawsuit.
Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is.
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