Gerald Wallace Facts
by David A. Arnott on Dec 10, 2009 9:57 AM EST
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PrintFirst, there was Bill Brasky. Then came Chuck Norris Facts. I think it's time to create Gerald Wallace Facts, which will be the main site pushing his All Star candidacy. I'll start the break, you finish, and I'll re-post them on the GWF site. Cool? Cool.
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When Gerald Wallace blocks a shot, somewhere a puppy is born and its family can't help but name him Gerald.
Gerald Wallace doesn't jump. When he dunks, the arena lowers itself to his eye level.
In his Oscar speech, Paul Haggis thanked Gerald Wallace for providing the title to his film.
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Gerald Wallace's mouthpiece
There has to be a fact about his mouthpiece somehwere, I just can’t think of anything…
Mouthpiece
People think Gerald Wallace is in the habit of dangling his mouthpiece. This is untrue. It’s just that the mouthpiece wants to see what amazing thing he’s going to do next too!
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 10, 2009 11:49 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
+1
Rec’d.
Remember when the Panthers had a good offensive line? Yeah, me too.
--Darin Gantt
by MichaelProcton on Dec 10, 2009 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
Gerald Wallace doesn't get concussions...
his brain just shuts down due to a mass influx of awesomeness.
Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
Everytime Wallace has the ball in the post
But instead of shooting opts to kick it out to an open DJ Augustin… Loud cries of “noooooooo” are heard throughout Bobcat Nation
on behalf of tha dirty south: soul food, carolina blue, southern hospitality, and tha queen city
by southtunnel on Dec 10, 2009 12:06 PM EST via mobile reply actions
We were supposed to come up with funny facts.
But this might be a possible situation…if Augustin was ever on the court with Wallace.
Remember when the Panthers had a good offensive line? Yeah, me too.
--Darin Gantt
by MichaelProcton on Dec 10, 2009 1:19 PM EST up reply actions
That was sarcasm, designed specifically to mess with you!
And it worked!
on behalf of tha dirty south: soul food, carolina blue, southern hospitality, and tha queen city
by southtunnel on Dec 10, 2009 2:13 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Facts
During the 9 months Gerald’s mother was pregnant with him, SHE averaged a double-double.
In 2007, owner Bob Johnson wanted to change the name of the team to the Charlotte G-Force. But Gerald Wallace has veto power over everything in the universe and was too gracious to approve the name change.
The Dave Matthews Band’s 1996 album Crash was named in honor of Gerald Wallace.
If you play the 1976 Earth, Wind & Fire song Shining Star backwards, it says “Gerald Wallace IS an All- Star.” Gerald Wallace wasn’t even born until 1982!
Once, Gerald Wallace dunked a basketball so hard that it turned into a bag of pork rinds.
ROFL!
Love the Gerald’s mother comment!
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 10, 2009 1:08 PM EST up reply actions
Whenever the Cats play the Nicks on the road
Wallace has to make a side trip to the offices of the MIB to renew his green card.
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 10, 2009 1:13 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
My friend was discussing the possibility that G-Force may be an alien just the other day!
Remember when the Panthers had a good offensive line? Yeah, me too.
--Darin Gantt
by MichaelProcton on Dec 10, 2009 1:18 PM EST up reply actions
Wallace hits the boards so hard
That fans seated behind the basket can hear it say, “thankyousir may I have another”
Facts
After seeing Wallace jump, Stern declared that Wallace “bounds” everyone else from then on “re-bounds”
Gerald Wallace’s voice is so low that some say he still talks to the ghosts of past Bobcats.
Gerald Wallace came here in the Expansion draft, and never stopped expanding.
more to come…
Adam Morrison wasn't upset why he cried after Gonzaga was eliminated...
they were tears of joy that he might get to play with Gerald Wallace.
Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
A young Gerald was immortalized in 'Hey Arnold'...
Arnold’s head is shaped like a football because Wallace dunked on him.
Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
It isn't true
That Wallace’s locker is all by itself because he demanded it that way. It’s just that every time other lockers are placed near it, it clears them all out.
Time Warner has the highest maintenance bill in the NBA
Because every time they replace the lights, Wallace just shoots them all out again.
Wallace wears the number 3
To remind opposing coaches how many defenders it will take to slow him down.
Wallace is so fast in the paint
that even Tyson Chandler can’t foul him
by Ourdaywillcome on Dec 10, 2009 3:00 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Obscure Facts
Every time Paul Westphal sees one of Wallace’s box scores, he asks Sean May, “so, NONE of that rubbed off onto you when you were in Charlotte? Not even a little bit?”
Whenever a Bobcat’s opponent gets an offensive rebound when Wallace is on the floor, their coach winces in disbelief because he just lost a bet.
Wallace sticks his mouthpiece out during drives to catch blood in case of any height related nose bleeds.
Did you know?
The thought of having to play Gerald Wallace one-on-one in a game of basketball is the only single thing in the universe that scares Chuck Norris.
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